i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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