I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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