New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
