I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
