Where is the hickey?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
