I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Randomize
