Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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