Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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