birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize