I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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