the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
