Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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