Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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