now i know why i became what i already was.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize