I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
