Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
When are your genitals available?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
