i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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