I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You smell like stripper and shame
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
