my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
