The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
