i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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