alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
