Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
