I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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