Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
