Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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