i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
