How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I can't put those talents on a resume
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
