I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
