have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
