i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize