Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
