I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
