yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
