if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
