I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
