So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
