make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
