I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
