JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
