idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
