There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
