They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
