I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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