so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
