I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
