omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
