My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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