'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he thought i was a dude.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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