We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
