i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
