I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
