So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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