she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize