Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
