Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
