Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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