Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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