She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
