she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
