he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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