is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
