I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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