I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
