ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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