i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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