3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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