Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
