OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
