you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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