hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
