They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
