rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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