Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
