hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
All the doctor said was why
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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