Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
