So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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