I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
