Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
