Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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